Alright, Poem Time:
The Dope
I wait for a train
that runs on time.
It feeds the pain
that builds inside.
I need something
to be my guide.
Just tie this rope,
so I stop and choke.
It's that fucker, Hope,
that causes my dismay.
I wish he'd stop parading
on my rainy fucking day.
-by Pirate Jimmy
I actually wrote this in January of this year, but decided to wait until now to post it. I'm really proud of the rhyme scheme, which a 3-line pattern, different from the 4-line flow of the poem. Hopefully it gives you, the reader, an uneasy feeling, and makes it seem something is out of alignment somehow; it should make you uncomfortable. And mostly I'm proud of the last 4 lines, how they play on the phrase "stop trying to rain on my parade."
I wait for a train
that runs on time.
It feeds the pain
that builds inside.
I need something
to be my guide.
Just tie this rope,
so I stop and choke.
It's that fucker, Hope,
that causes my dismay.
I wish he'd stop parading
on my rainy fucking day.
-by Pirate Jimmy
I actually wrote this in January of this year, but decided to wait until now to post it. I'm really proud of the rhyme scheme, which a 3-line pattern, different from the 4-line flow of the poem. Hopefully it gives you, the reader, an uneasy feeling, and makes it seem something is out of alignment somehow; it should make you uncomfortable. And mostly I'm proud of the last 4 lines, how they play on the phrase "stop trying to rain on my parade."
posted by Pirate Jimmy @ 9:13 PM
4 Comments:
At 7:24 AM,
Pirate Jimmy said…
rhyme scheme:
aba
cdc
efe
ghg
written another way:
abac
dcef
eghg
At 12:50 PM,
Chaka said…
Ok, I would have saved five minutes of scribbling if I just looked here first.
The inversion of hope reminds me of one of my favorite books of all time: The Homeward Bounders by Diane Duane (not the dogs and cat thing, that's Homeward Bound).
Have you ever read it?
At 9:22 PM,
Pirate Jimmy said…
Nope, I have not. I trust that since you're a linguist and it's a favourite of yours, that it's good?
At 2:36 PM,
Chaka said…
It's a young-adult book, so it's plot is not exactly Les Miserables, but it's a great read. Hope is symbolized in the book by anchors, and they mostly have negative significance for the main characters. I think the ambiguity of the symbol is great--they tie you down, which could be good or bad.
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