Dear Chaka

Chaka, I am charging you with an official duty: reinvigorate American writing. Me and a co-worker were talking at work today and we agreed there hasn't been a good American writer for too long. Not only that, but global society, in my mind, seems to be in an intellectual lull. The best ideas people can come up with are Utilitarian (read ignorant and lazy) ideas about animal rights and self-satisfaction. I expect your book on shelves within the week.